I have learned that in life there are only three men I can count on: my father, Ben and Jerry. My father is always there to tell me when my skirt is too short or my attitude is too snippy. Ben and Jerry help me in a different way. They don’t criticize my clothes or demeanor; they are totally self-less. One night, after a fight with my boyfriend, Ben and Jerry told me, “Who needs him? We can give you Chunky Monkey and Phish Food.” I was hooked.
I believe that ice cream must be good for you. What other food can brighten any mood with one bite? Self-loathing, post-break up syndrome or simply having a bad day, no other remedy serves as well as ice cream. Whether it’s Cherry Garcia, Jamaican Me Crazy, Karamel Sutra, Mint Chocolate Chunk, or Chocolate Therapy, each flavor has something unique to offer its indulger. Cherry Garcia has a power that purifies my palette as if a sweet summer rain were drizzling fresh cherries into my mouth. Jamaican Me Crazy is an explosion of flavor and fun, crackling like fireworks on my tongue and exciting my senses. Karamel Sutra and Mint Chocolate Chunk bring surprises by adding gooey caramel or frozen chocolate chips that unexpectedly crunch between my teeth before I swallow its icy goodness. And finally: Chocolate Therapy, in all of its glory. This comfortable, yet unpredictable flavor is indescribably scrumptious and can turn my sour mood into a positive attitude. Any combination of milk and sugar that can excite a mouth and affect my attitude with just one bite must be dubbed the ultimate savior of all who suffer from problems that can only be solved with a pint, a spoon and a copy of Pretty Woman.
But some still doubt ice cream’s healing powers. Some say ice cream serves no medicinal value; I beg to differ. Ice cream is linked to increasing the amount of serotonin and endorphins in my brain. Elle Woods taught us in Legally Blonde that “endorphins make you happy.” So ice cream, in turn, makes us happier!
If psychiatrists and anti-depressants are praised for having a cheerful effect on people, then ice cream should be put on a pedestal and worshipped. It doesn’t cost nearly as much as those overpaid doctors who sit and ask the same useless questions, and it doesn’t come with any negative side effects. Its only effects include euphoria and the possibility that the indulger may achieve nirvana while satisfying their sweet tooth.
While ice cream is the Dirty Dancing of all chick flicks and the Spiderman of all adventure heroes – everything must be enjoyed in moderation. Ben and Jerry are sacred and cemented into a corner of my heart to be revered for all eternity. But because of their kind nature, it is beneficial if they only come around once in a while. They must be as we wish our problems to be: ephemeral, yet leaving a lasting impression in our hearts.
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