This I Believe

April - Manitowoc, Wisconsin
Entered on May 31, 2007

Title: Organic

I am a woman.

When I pee, I sit.

While camping or at a public restroom I used to think how nice it would be if I could pee standing up. But, I crouch low to the earth and I think that’s the lesson my body teaches me:

“Stay close to nature and you will find relief. Stray too far and accidents will abound.”

I am a woman.

When my time comes, I menstruate.

I used to think, “My monthly curse.” My energy wanes and I naturally want to pull back a bit and reflect.

My body tells me, “You are busy much of the time. You are always giving to others. You must give to yourself too. I call you to rest, comtemplate, and reevaluate.”

I am a woman.

A week after I menstruate, I ovulate.

I used to think that I was my mind and that my body didn’t really matter all that much.

After being disrespected and treated as an object, I realized that I was my body.

So I do not try to stifle my body with pills and contraceptives. To sterilize my body is to sterilize me.

My energy waxes and my body says, “You have so much to give; now is your season to create.”

I am a woman.

I can bring forth new life.

I used to behave as though I were unstoppable. All I depended on was me. Pregnancy was a difficult time. I became very vulnerable, and consequently became aware of my own mortality.

My body said to me, “You will not go on forever. People are the important things in life, and sometimes you can’t do everything on your own.”

I am a woman.

I can give birth.

I used to think that I could control everything. Labor taught me that sometimes I will experience incredible pain and I will be powerless to stop it.

My body said, “Sometimes when you think you are weak, you are your most powerful.” And I held my child.

I am a woman.

I can nurse my child.

I used to think that I had so many pressing things to do. I had to clean, cook, and sleep all night so that I could work all day. Breasfeeding made me feel like I had a leash on. So often it had to be me that met the needs of my child. No one else would do.

My body said to me, “No work is more important than the work of nurturing your child. The company you work for will not exist forever, but your child is eternal.”

I am a woman.

I try to respect the wisdom of my body. I know my body needs to heal more and it is not ready for another child. So why even ovulate?

But when my body does, she wisely says to my husband, “You need to really communicate with your wife. You need to learn self-mastery so you can teach her that she is deeply loved and respected for who she is, as she is.”

I am a woman.

I have an incredible mind. I know that one day I will pursue my dream of getting my doctorate. I can wait, knowing that that season, too, will come in its time.

No, my way of being in the world does not follow the masculine way of being. But my way is a good way. My way is a beautiful way. My way is the feminine way, for I am a woman.