A gift can be many things: a kind deed, a material object, or an action, or an action. My personal gift was actions that I pursued following a divorce, my choice, that occurred thirteen years ago.
I was in love with this man since I was sixteen years old. We married and the marriage lasted greater than thirty years. With my discovery of his infildelity, the trust was broken.
I learned that this infildelity was going on for approximately four years. Counseling was attempted but it was one sided and it seemed his part was to plan what to do next. I decided to divorce him. The ensuing twelve years were very difficult for me. I did go to counseling and met some fine therapists and some who should have pursued other careers.
However, Christmas, of 2006, there was an Epiphany. I was not aware at the time. I was in the company of my two children. The realization occurred on the flight home. The pain and sadness that usually accompanied holidays was no longer present, the feelings were absent!! There was a rush of feelings, the lost marriage and the sadness washed away like the beauty of the ocean waves. The happy, grateful, loving, content feelings were almost overwhelming.
I had returned to counseling a few months earlier and met one of the finest human beings to walk this wonderful planet earth. I was ready to address issues and she was a wonderful facilitator. She capitalized on my interest in writng. She provided me with many writing exercises. I saw her weekly for several months and wrote about and discussed painful issues of growing up in a home with alcohol, broken trust due to infildelity and the constant bickering due to those issues, especially awful at the holidays. All the painful things I tried to submergeby doing good things in my life were finally addressed. I could not believe how good this felt. It was as if a weight had been removed from my shoulders.
My former spouse will never know this but he gave me the greatest gift and I thank him from the depths of my soul. I have always been close to my faith and prayed my entire life for peace and serenity that were never quite there. I can now say God has always been there for me.
I feel now my life is WHOLE & COMPLETE as I never have known before. I have led a faith-based life. Now I feel God has led me to the full awareness of grace and peace because I have finally come to peace with the family I grew up in.
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