I don’t believe in much. At times I can probably be the most apathetic person you’ll ever meet. Because of this, the question of “what I believe” became extremely difficult the longer it was mulled over. But as I thought, I was continually drawn back to my training as an actor. And it is there that I find my true beliefs.
I believe that a person should live in the moment. Now I don’t mean this in the live fast, die young sense. It’s more of a sense of being in harmony with what is happening around you. Being an actor, I was always taught to experience the moment and yet not be caught up in it. This may seem like a contradiction, but it really is a simple harmony of two ideas. It is the union of emotion and rationality that all human beings are ingrained with. I believe that every single individual should be able to strengthen themselves through the incorporation of these facets into their lives.
But this process may even seem cruel at times. Actors are trained to utilize the moments we experience to our own advantage. My teacher once told us of a story where, at a deeply personal funeral, he took a moment at the mirror to truly analyze his reaction to the situation so that it could be reproduced on the stage or be more truthfully expressed in the future. This may seem like quite a cold action, but I believe that these are the measures that truly need to be taken in order to live the moment. This is what separates the idea of “living fast” and the idea of actually understanding it. The more I know about my emotions and the catalysts that spark them, the more feelings of peace I can gather from life.
I feel that that is where my general apathy stems from. Things don’t tend to bother me that much because I am starting to understand why my emotions flow they way they do. I understand why things ignite certain reactions and I am able to nip it at the bud before an unnecessary is evoked. I plan to develop this throughout my life because I believe the best way to live is to live in harmony with these moments.
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