This I Believe

Leona - Eugene, Oregon
Entered on May 29, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

This I believe…

I believe that my role on this Earth is “mother.”

If I never marry, never have children, never settle in one spot for more than the blink of my eye, I will still be a mother under my skin and during the genesis of every thought and impulse.

My mothers before me laid the framework for my identity. They drew the boundaries I am expanding into with their love and dedication. They created a mold I am desperate to fill, but I worry that the mold is out of date—that the differences between their worlds and mine will affect my chances for ever getting to where I want to be.

I keep it a secret, but I don’t care about my career. The joy I find in it lies in every opportunity to nurture the people I work with—to mother them. I feel like I would walk away from everything without a single regret if given the option of home and family. I imagine that my foremothers would have felt as ashamed of admitting that they didn’t love their children every moment of every day as I do of admitting that I don’t love working outside the home.

But if I never do marry, never do have children, never do settle down, will that necessarily mean that I’ve failed? Perhaps my fate is to mother in the way that Mother Theresa did. Perhaps I am supposed to mother the world. Perhaps I should start expanding my definition of motherhood.

I believe that I am guided in the right direction, and that if I listen carefully, I will always hear when opportunity is knocking. I believe that my desires are in line with my destiny. I believe that if I continue moving through the chaos of my modern life, carefully putting one foot in front of the other, I will walk without stumbling into just the right place for me—the place where I will be just the right kind of mother.