This I Believe

Angela - Arlington, Virginia
Entered on May 25, 2007

I believe that everyone makes mistakes, and that the biggest and most important mistakes to make are the ones where we have done something to defy our own soul. Because it is when we make these mistakes that we are given the opportunity to reflect upon our inner landscape, to explore and learn from what this landscape looks like, and be reminded of who we really are inside and who we want to be. I believe that we all veer off our paths at some point, and that these kinds of mistakes help us to correct our vision and our future, and return to our true path. I believe these mistakes help us to grow as people and realize what the really important things are in life. If you let them, they can be real eye-openers into the understanding of your own thoughts, fears, and behaviors.

I am a 31 year old sensitive single woman, whose goal in life is to laugh, to love, and to be loved. I am an ordinary American citizen, living in Washington DC. I have had some amazing experiences in life, including living in West Africa, traveling all around the United States, and experiencing the peoples of this world. Yet somewhere along the way, without knowing it, in my twenties, I let that sensitivity turn itself into anxiety and defensive behavior because I was trying to protect myself against the negative feelings that come with disappointment and hurt. I turned away from the world and stopped fully participating and enjoying it. Yet the inevitable consequence was a shield from the wonderful feelings of connecting with people, of feeling the power of humanity, of feeling the power of love that is my most prominent goal.

Yes, it took a wonderful man I was dating to break up with me for me to actually realize that I was pushing the world away, pushing the love away that I so craved.

I believe that recognition and understanding is the key.

I believe that I am not the only one out there who has shielded themselves from the world because they are afraid to get hurt.

I believe that someone out there will hear my story and see it as their own, and wake up to all that the world has to offer.

I believe that someone will hear my story, and choose to become a part of the world around them again, to let go of those fears and apprehensions that were holding them back from participating in life.

I believe that someone will hear my story and invite love and pain back into their life again, because they are such wonderfully powerful emotions.

I believe that this revelation cost me a lost love; but I also believe that by doing this he gave me the greatest gift that anyone could have given me—the power to reflect, to understand myself, to reconnect with the world and the people around me; the power, once again, to believe.