This I Believe

Caitlin - Seymour, Connecticut
Entered on May 25, 2007

I believe in second chances. When a loved one makes a mistake that hurts you, I believe he or she should have a chance to make things better if earned. If your friend or significant other is truly sorry for what he or she did and worked hard to gain your trust back, your friend should get it. I have learned through many relationships in my high school years to “forgive and forget”. You are ultimately happier knowing you are able to give your trust back. As Mark Pickford says, “If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the failing down but the staying down.” I believe that never attempting to regain a person’s trust is stupid and causes a person to miss out on a really great relationship that may have made him or her very happy in the long run.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.” My parents both have this mindset when it comes to my important relationships in my life. Every time I have a fight or problem with a certain friend my parents seem to always tell me that I should be extra careful with whom I become involved with. This never made me happy, but caused me to judge my parents as stubborn and unforgiving. I realize they don’t want me to get hurt, but experiences will only make me stronger.

It seems hard to give someone full trust back after he or she hurt you and broke that crucial chain of trust. Trust is easy to give a person when they have never caused you harm. As soon as this is violated, it makes the relationship unstable. When this occurs, you should make a person work for your trust. For a person to work hard to earn back your trust is the best form of forgiveness. This shows how sorry he or she is and that the relationship is important. My advice is to give trust back in small portions, but be wary of what may happen in the future.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in “Three strikes and you’re out.” More than even a second chance seems ridiculous to me. If a person is given a second chance and tangles with that trust, he or she is definitely not worth your time. Everyone is allowed one major screw up in a relationship, but any more means they are taking advantage of you. Users and the abused may hurt you once or twice, but it is up to you to end the relationship.

I feel bad for the overused people who give anyone all the chances in the world. Users know they can tackle these types of people because they are weak. However, I feel worse for the other extreme which are stubborn people. People who dramatize over the littlest problems become too angry and end relationships immediately. These types of people never learn to trust others and ultimately lead lonely lives. Relationships only become stronger when both people involved overcome obstacles such as fights and mistreatments.