This I Believe

Winona - Orem, Utah
Entered on May 25, 2007

Sometimes they are real, sometimes they are fantasy. Explored in sleep or wake. Either way, a dream.

I have many dreams. Some realistic, others less. All have a single purpose, they give me something to focus on. The less realistic dreams are the basis for my life’s course. The realistic dreams are there when I get to a point where I don’t know which way to go in life. A simple dream to help me jump my hurdles, before I return to my original course. It doesn’t matter if I fall after the hurdle or not because I believe dreams are there to pick me up after I fall. Especially the little dreams.

I literally fell in the ninth grade, while playing in a lacrosse game. I injured my ankle enough to end my season prematurely. This shock to my system, not just ended my season, but left me fallen. I was depressed, stuck and unable to jump this hurdle. I had to sit there counting seconds, until time would remove my injury and physical pain. The time was what hurt me. I wanted to tell myself to heal and it would happen. None of my wishing helped. But I finally decided that it wasn’t worth wasting my time being depressed about something out of my control, I was still of worth, and I started to see that. I could focus less on my self-doubt and actually change something in my control, my self-image. I had a dream that one day, I would be happy with myself. I would see a girl that wasn’t stuck or fallen but still on a course.

I remembered this simple dream, to be happy with myself, everyday. I wouldn’t let the pain and depression slip through. I let time heal. I rested and went to physical therapy for two months. I remembered that I was in control of how I was feeling inside, no matter the pain on the outside. I kept this focus, until I began to walk with just a brace. Then my dream of remaining positive turned into a bigger dream… to run, just in time for the last game of our lacrosse season. My team finished 11-0 and I played to seal off our perfect season.

This game meant more to me than just a win. I had jumped my hurdle. I had a small realistic dream to keep me going until I could finally dream big and accomplish what I was reaching for.

Two dreams of mine were accomplished. I played in our last game and I grew to have a better self-image. Because of my small dream, I was able to keep going even when I lost sight of all my big dreams. These small simple dreams became more than simple. They are what helped me remember and accomplish my big dreams.