The Grilled Cheese Solution
There is something about melted cheese on white bread that can make everything okay. It’s beyond a taste; it’s a feeling—smooth on rough: the toasted bread scratching and the cheese soothing a wounded soul. It says, “I know that it hurts now, but everything will turn out perfectly.”
I believe that if I have a problem, a grilled cheese can fix it.
Now, hurting and healing is a lot of work for one sandwich, but this one… can do it. I think that its ability to heal has something to do with the portal to childhood it creates. When I was little, I would anxiously await the trips to grandma’s where a grilled cheese and a cup of tomato soup was a given. Comfort food. I looked forward to those days like nothing else. When my mom and I would pick my dad up from work, I would always sit with my eyes glued to the window trying to see whether we would turn towards grandma’s on the way home. If we did, then I was happy and expectant waiting for the food I was sure to receive. Those were happy days—when I really believed that everything would always turn out okay, even before I thought failure was a possibility.
With childhood came a kind of belief that I could be whatever I wanted to be or do whatever I wanted to do. Then I grew up and realized that I am not always as good as I wish I could be. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I cannot win, and as a child I couldn’t see that. Now, it seems I occasionally fail uncontrollably, like no matter what I do I cannot become any better.
In my new stage of life, a grilled cheese sandwich is all that I need to bring me back to those days of simple, innocent belief. And, I remember that maybe, things really can be okay. It is not really so much about the flavor or texture; it is more about the memories and feelings it awakens inside of me. It is like a window to past days of dreams and possibilities or to goals that WILL happen. There are dreams that I have given up on, that I cannot believe in anymore and sometimes I just need to escape “reality” and remember.
Innocence is a reminder and a return to safety, I believe a grilled cheese can eliminate any trouble that may come up, or, at least make it seem less daunting. Because, sometimes all I need is a trip to the days of early childhood where, everything really is okay.
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