Believe in the Belief… Pass It On?
“This turns sharp so hold on for dear life…are you ready cause it‘s a bumpy ride.”
Never forget who you are, and never lose touch of yourself, because once you do it’s gone and one can only hope to regain piece by piece.
You need to discover who you are as a person, what you like about yourself and what you want to do. I let others tell me “I couldn’t go to a “screamo” concert because I dressed a certain way, “or that I wasn’t allowed to do one thing because I did another. They’re jealous because you feel comfortable with yourself
. I was comfortable with myself when I went to my friend’s concert to show them support. I got looked down upon and told I wasn’t allowed. Who’s to tell anyone what’s allowed at a concert that you have to pay money to get into? Forget about the money though, who’s allowed to say that period?
I believe you can make yourself believe anything you want, can’t you? I wanted to be comfortable with myself, so I could dress the way I wanted, eat, listen, and talk to anyone I wanted. I’m tired of segregating myself to the popular clique. Trying to be the top dog in the hall. That’s not me, I wasn’t accepted, and them I truly thank. Without them I wouldn’t be who I am. I tried to make myself believe that I wanted to be with the popular kids and wanted everyone to like me. I actually made more enemies trying to fit in, than I made friends with the popular kids.
I lost myself to the popular clique; everything I had established, including my credibility was gone. When I started talking to everyone again I realized this would be harder than being popular. I didn’t want to just hang out with one group. Making friends with people in my class, and their friends and so on was a slow process. Some still rejected me and thought if they befriended me I would betray them again, because that’s what the popular clique always does. I didn’t blame them. They had every right to not befriend me. I began to look at things I liked. My style and music interests began to change to what I liked instead of the majority.
It’s ok to change, it’s ok to be the change you want to be, but don’t let someone, some group, or something change you like it did me. Regaining trust from those who had given so much was the hardest thing I had to do. They looked at me like I had it all, I gave it up, and now I have to gain it back and make that promise that I wouldn’t betray it again.
I lost touch of myself and let others control me. I was the puppet, and society the puppeteer, but, not anymore, I am myself, who I want to be instead of a product of my generation. I found myself and now I’m holding on for dear life. So hang on and don’t let go. It’s a bumpy ride from here on out.
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