This I Believe

Tyler - Chula vista, California
Entered on May 23, 2007

Two months ago was a day that the sun decided it needed to share its self with the world. I remember waking up and not giving much thought to it at all. However soon after waking up, this pain (like lions chewing on my leg) came from my chest. The pain dropped me to the ground, and sat back and laughed as I lay there helpless. When I opened my eyes there was definitely an appreciation for the sun that I had taken for granted this morning. I collected my thoughts that had been slung across the floor and I went on with the rest of my day. Days after the incident I knew my heart wasn’t the same. It was slower, weaker, and although I have no formal medical training but I could have sworn there was a hole in it. So after my initial hesitation I decided I need the help of my doctor.

When I got to the doctors office, it brought back an unexpected amount of memories from all the times I had been here as a child. I used to love to come here. I wonder what happened, and why I was hesitant to return. My doctor was nothing short of wonderful, he mentioned how he missed seeing me and how it had been forever, which it really felt like it had been. Although the reunion brought seemingly bad news he assured me it was good news and the only way I would be able to keep on living. I won’t bore you with all the medical terms and analysis because frankly I can’t really remember what was said.

I just remember the final thing he said “you’re going to need a new heart”. Although that’s nothing you ever want to hear he said it in such a way that put me at peace and I knew it would be ok.

Weeks and weeks went by and I slowly began to discover what was wrong inside my chest. My heart was metal and the different parts were beginning to rust over. Of course that’s not exactly what was wrong but that’s basically a summary. A few of the tubes that bring blood into my heart had closed for an unknown reason and slowly my heart was dying. It was a miracle to find a heart donor but miracles are happening all over this world and I am beginning to see them more and more the harder I look.

So here I am with nothing to lose. No one has a set amount of time they are going to live which means I have nothing to lose and but everything to gain. I lay here on the table waiting for my life to begin. My doctor leans over and at that moment my eyes begin to close. I feel no pain only peace. I believe in Safety.