Throughout our lives we find things to put our trust in, to provide comfort. In my younger years my comfort came from a special ring my mother bought me. The ring was simple and was inscribed with the message; “fear not.” I wore it everywhere. When I was faced with a problem or I was afraid, I would put the ring on. I believe in facing my fears.
When I’m afraid my heart beats rapidly, it pulses through my ears and my muscles begin to tense. Fears don’t always have to be a physical experience in order to be real. Fear can be an emotion held deep within the walls of your heart, or the thoughts running through your mind. It’s a force unlike any other in the world. Fear is a lot like love; unexplainable, intangible, a goal to be overcome. This is how I feel when I experience fear.
One thing I’m most afraid of is being alone. It’s human nature to want to have relationships. Relationships that are formed between friends, men and women, a parent and a child. And the worst fear in a relationship is rejection. That feeling when you would give your life for someone that barely knows you exist. The fear that she’s better than you and you can’t change it. Your mother disapproves of you, replaces you with another child. You fear somehow your parents will love them more. That you aren’t good enough. It can even be as ludicrous as a fear of clowns. But I’ve found a way to put that fear aside. I will never really be alone in this world; there is always someone that is going to be there for me. I accept that I am a strong person and that I don’t need someone around me at all times, but I’m still working on that.
Another fear of mine is imperfection. Sure I’m “skinny”, I’m a size 0. I blow my paychecks on the clothes that are “in style”, I straighten my hair so much I fear I might develop carpal tunnel. I primp my eyelashes for that flirtatious look.. I do these things to be perfect. Because I fear I’m letting someone, somewhere in the world, down if I don’t fit society’s perfect image. I think I won’t be good enough for the people it matters the most. But I’m not afraid of my size 0 or not fitting into the “norm” anymore. I put on my tiny jeans, and an old T-shirt and I feel like a million bucks.
A wise teacher once told me “Do one thing everyday that scares you.” Be daring, be bold. You don’t have to face your fears with a ring, face your fears by being you. That’s what I do and I’m glad to say it has made my life so much happier. So go out and say hi to a clown, wear your jeans and T-shirt, and spend time alone. But most importantly, “fear not.”
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