This I Believe

Christina - Fairfield, Connecticut
Entered on May 22, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: fear

I believe that fear only holds me back. Not fear of boogymen in the closet or anything silly like that; but fear of rejection or humiliation.

This fear is bigger than I ever imagined it could be after I sat down and thought about how it affected me. Coming into high school was a very scary time. New classes, school, teachers, people, and more. Going into high school, I was a soccer fanatic. I loved playing. The smell of the grass would help me let go of what was going on in my life; while running and striving to win was an exhilarating feeling. Not to mention, I was pretty good at it too. At that time I told myself that if I played soccer I wouldn’t have time for school and I thought that that was more important. So I never tried out for the team. This year I thought I’d be in worse shape than everyone else who played last year so they’d surely beat me out for the team. My fear of being rejected kept me from trying out for something that made me happy, full and content. Making that realization caused me to want to try out next year, even though I’ve already missed two years. No dim excuses this time about not being fit enough. Working out is simple once you start, the real problem is being confident enough.

Everyday there’s that fear in the back of my head, whether I realize it or not. Simple things like asking a question in class. This fear is interrupting my life. Living blissfully is not something I can just say I want to do, it takes time. But working for that goal is important to me.

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself” –Franklin Roosevelt. Franklin was obviously in his right mind when he said this. What is there to fear? People making fun of me? Who cares about that! Most likely no one would even care; they have lives of their own. That’s why fear is the only thing to fear. The only thing that I should be caring about is if I’m happy. Fear is only in my mind, and fear is an appalling and unpleasant thing.

Believing in fear is a fearful dilemma.