I believe in not breathing.
Last week my Mom sat me down to express some of her concerns for me. She said that I am on the go too much, that I need to relax, and I need to breathe. She said that I am wearing myself out and that I need a break.
I don’t want to breathe. I believe that life is too short to take stops. I have too much to accomplish, too many things to see, and too many places to go. Have you ever seen anyone win a race that walked? I haven’t.
Last year I was in a relationship with a man where the main component was sitting around watching TV. I don’t want to waste anymore time. I we were together for three years and I have time to make up.
I want to run outside like I use to do and smell the fresh cut grass and funny smelling flowers from the Cherry Blossom trees. I want to take in the look of the dark and distant night sky and envision other worlds. I want to drive for no reason, go on mini adventures, travel, and meet new people. I want to dance, to cry, to laugh, and sometimes scream. I want to sing in the car at the top of my lungs without anyone judging me for it. Most of all I just want to live. I’m tired of life passing me by. I want to have fun and to be young. I can’t breathe, I can’t stop.
Life is just too wonderful to me. Even my sister and cousin disagree.
I have a twin sister named Heather and a cousin named Brittney who sat me down as well. They asked if I ever just wanted to have a “me” day. You know, those days where girls take long baths while painting their fingers and toes and giving themselves facials. I thought for a second and said “no.”
Even though they don’t understand it, it seems so perfectly clear to me. In a month, or a year, or two years, will I remember giving myself a facial, or a girl day? Probably not. I would remember taking a hike through Sea Shore State Park where I saw some really cool trees and laughed with my closest friends. I will remember going to the beach for no reason at all except to appreciate the beauty of the waves and sky.
Simply put, I believe that life is way too short to waste. There is just simply not enough time for me to sit and breathe.
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