I believe that that Life loves to mess with us
I believe that life is literally one damned thing after another. After 17 years of life experience and 11 years of school experience, I’ve noticed that after you think you’ve got one thing down and covered you’ve got to push it even harder for the next obstacle. After the 3rd grade mastering our multiplication tables, I started noticing how many tests and objectives I was required to take and to learn throughout our school years; damn, more math. Now, middle school, I start to learn that I’m mixed up with more students I do not even know in a new school; damn now I have to find new friends and hope that they’re the ones I can trust. Especially now in high school, I have taken so many tests already, I’ve become familiar with so many abbreviations and titles for tests here and there, CSTS, ACTS, SATS, finals, midterms, weekly assessments, AP EXAMS, and of course the usual quizzes.
I call it Studying because I read and review so much I feel like I’m dying on the spot, for these tests are coming at me left and right, like there’s no tomorrow; damn how will I survive this? I know, I’ve got to study my butt off as much as I breathe, especially since all these tests that you take will count in your future when you go to college; damn more studying. I’ve survived many tests my past school life and I would think after taking so many, I would get used to taking them, WRONG, life only throws more at you. I want to become a doctor and I’ve realized it comes to more studying and more tests more stress and less sleep; damn just to do what will make me happy.
And then what? If I survive and become a doctor I’ve got to work hard and find a good job, husband and all of that and take care of family, damn more work! So, I make it, I’ve got a job, a husband, a home and a family. I have to work every day, except holidays and weekends, manage the bills, watch out for taxes, live realistically so my family and I will not end up bankrupt and poor, damn what else is there to do? My husband and I will work hard in order to live a good life, keep working until we’re not able to. Hardly ever any times for resting and taking a break, damn let me live.
But in the end, I’ll work so hard that when I actually have a chance to relax and take a day as it is, and not as a work day, I’ll be too old to be crazy and spend money for myself. After days and years as an old lady living with money but can’t dress myself up with it, I’ll know that my days are coming to an end; damn is it time for me to go already? Now I know I haven’t lived that life yet, but that’s what I’m expecting. Hopefully things don’t change my plans completely but if they do, then.. damn I knew something would change my life up. The unapparent thing that I might not notice as these damn things happen one of another is that, in the complete end, all those things happened for their own reason and help me become who I was that day.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.