This I Believe

Mariah - Phoenix, Arizona
Entered on May 15, 2007

This I Believe…

Unfortunately, I can’t say the event that shaped my deepest belief was one of my happier memories. In fact, I believe that when taken in the right perspective, the hard times in life are only there to make you stronger. It took place on July 12, 2002 at about three in the afternoon in Presbyterian Hospital in Albuquerque, NM. That afternoon, I watched the strongest person I knew and will ever know go into a world more peaceful than the one she was living in. That afternoon, I watched my mother pass away right before me.

I wish I could say that I left that hospital knowing exactly how to deal with my loss. Instead, I can clearly remember leaving in a state of confusion about how I was supposed to live without her. A year later, after a few mistakes and a period of isolation, it finally came to me. I realized I was at a crossroad in my life. I could either choose to go to the left or to the right. I could choose the path of undeniable strength in myself and the life I lead or the path that would result in self-destruction. Fortunately, I was surrounded by people who continuously encouraged me to travel in the “right” direction.

I soon developed the idea that I could take this event and make it worth something. I decided to start living my life in a way that would make my mother proud. Understandably, I was unsure as to how I was going to do this. However, as high school nears an end, I have grasped a clear idea of what I was supposed to make out of her death. Without knowing it, I have produced a sense of strength in myself and the life I lead. I have thrived off of certainty. Since my loss, I have not hesitated at finding the things in life that make me happy, the things in life that never fail to give me comfort. I have learned to hold on to all the good. I owe all this strength to the hard times, to a time when I did not know if I could make it through the next day.