This I believe… I believe that parents make harsh decisions for their children; not necessarily knowing the impact it may have on them and their future. In 1991, my parents made a decision to move me away from the person I valued and loved the most, my grandmother. She was the light of my life and had cared for me since I was two months old. However, my parents decided it was time for them to take part in raising me and ordered me live with them at the age of fifteen. I can remember feeling overwhelmingly heart broken when I heard the news. After the move, my whole world was turned upside down! In the Kelley residence no one spoke to each other. There were no hello’s spoken in the mornings or greetings in the afternoons when I arrived home from school. Everything seemed dead, like no one cared. The unforgettable, demoralizing quarrels with my mother still were unbearable. I can remember waking up some days feeling like a stranger in my parents’ home. As time went on, I hated my life and resented my parents for what they had done.
At the age of, 16 I met a young man who I began dating and suddenly, most of my days were not as gloomy. From what I could tell, he seemed to care more for me than my family. I believed in the things that he told me, regardless if they were good or bad and ultimately those things changed my life forever. The relationship with my boyfriend quickly, started to spiral out of control. After feeling let down by my family, he was the only person I decided to trust; yet he too had broken my spirit. From the first pregnancy to the fourth, I became weak. I let myself become emotionally and sometimes physically abused. It seemed to be too late when I realized that he who was no better for me than a bag of lit dynamite. After, five pregnancies and three living children by the age of twenty-one, there was still no support from my family. I had only obtained a high school diploma and certificate in computer software. Even though, my future looked dreary, I knew there was more for me than what I was achieving. Finally, I started believing in myself and knowing, there had to be a reason why I was placed on this earth. There were many days of confusion and uncertainty, but I believed in me. I believed that I could change my circumstances and make my own niche’ in this world. Having no idea what my life would bring, I finally moved on. Moving on and out of my parents’ house gave me a new sense of self, more confidence for certain.
I believe that in spite of everything that I have been through I will succeed. I believe that all of the negative beings that told me, “I would never amount to anything,” were strategically placed in my life and helped me work harder. I believe that no matter where the apple falls in relation to the tree, everybody has choices and your life is yours to choose or not. Lastly, I believe that growing up in unfortunate circumstances do not make you an unfortunate individual.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.