This I Believe

Cassandra - Morrison, Colorado
Entered on May 10, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, family

I Regret

My grandpa has been in my thoughts everyday of my life since he died. I regret not appreciating what a special person and great influence I had until he was gone. Most pictures have him in them from when I was little, whether they were of my cousin’s and I in my grandparents tree or hunting Easter eggs in the backyard, he was always there.

Most people don’t realize that every special person, pet or friend they have in their life will one day be gone. The question is are you going to regret not appreciating them? My answer to this question is yes, I do regret not seeing what an influence my grandpa made in my life. Every year my family and I would drive down to the little town where they lived and celebrate Easter. My parents, or the Easter bunny, would hide the eggs in the backyard while grandpa would distract us and teach us how to build the “tallest” tower out of little red blocks. He taught me how to draw. I still remember him saying, “now if you draw the house like that it looks like a square, but if you do it this way it will have a greater affect.”

Not having my grandpa makes me realize that I am missing some part of me that cannot be replaced, if I had only thought about what I would feel when he was gone, before he was gone. My grandpa was the bravest person I have known, he was able to go through so much in his life and still be the quiet, smart, and unique person he was without even blinking. When my grandma needed to be in a nursing home he moved in with my family and I, I never understood how one person could go through losing a wife and being uprooted from home and still love the life that was given to him. I always thought that having my grandpa living at my house was kind of annoying, and we would always have to go to the nursing home with him. I didn’t like going it made me sad to see my grandma like she was, but my grandpa was so brave and never complained and never seemed sad, although I am sure he was.

I wish that I could be able to live the way my grandpa lived. He loved life, and made the most of everyday. He lived life to the fullest and saw many places and experienced many things most people don’t get too. I just regret that I didn’t get to talk to him more. I regret not seeing what a good thing I had in front of me my whole life until he was gone.