This I Believe

Catalina - Denver, Colorado
Entered on May 9, 2007
Age Group: Under 18

Restless

Falling asleep at a decent hour for me, is like your dad crying, it just doesn’t happen.

The clock ticks quietly and I constantly raise my head to check the time. It’s 1:14 a.m. Why aren’t I asleep yet? My mom walks in, “Want some benadryl?” She asks politely.

“No,” I shout malevolently as she exits the room. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just clear my head? Stop thinking. I don’t know how it is that I manage to wake up at 6, go to a full day of school, and then when 10 o clock hits, I cant find the power to fall asleep. Well, after suffering for a while, I think I’ve found the answer.

Insomnia. A common sleeping disorder lodging itself into the minds of approximately 1 in every 8 Americans. The key reason being high stress. Well, if this is what I have, does that mean I have to eliminate all the stress I have? Should I just not do my homework or not go to school? Well that would be cheating.

One day my mom saw me, I was in a frenzy because it was 6:00 and I still had a good deal of homework to do. I was near breaking point and tears were streaming wildly down my face. I felt as though someone had died. My heart beat violently and I felt like I was going to faint. “I’m worried about you,” she said as she sat herself down on my bed. Before I knew it I spilled my guts to her, told her everything that was wrong. “You need to stop worrying. Who cares if you don’t do amazing on that test tomorrow? All that matters is that you try your best. But if your best means having a nervous breakdown, then it’s not worth it. Do what makes you comfortable and do it for you, not or the final result.” I sat there. Did she just say what I think she said? Don’t stress? Ha! Like that could happen. I can’t just not stress out. But then I started thinking. What if I can? What if there was a way that I could just take a deep breath and stop all this? A way that I could still achieve what I wanted, but not lose brain cells over it.

After listening to what my mom had to say I tried it. Whenever I find myself losing air over the time, I take a deep breath and stop what I’m doing. Usually I go into the kitchen grab a glass of water and sit down and watch TV for a good 10 minutes. Once I’ve re-gained myself, I try again. I’ve come to find that it actually works. The way to eliminate stress is not to work yourself to tears. But instead it’s to take a deep breath and tell yourself “Calm down. It’s just worth it.” I think people have the right and ability to make their life what they want it to. They shouldn’t worry about the thing that is potentially stopping them, or what might happen in the future. Sure plan ahead, but don’t overdo it. And this I believe. I believe that you should make your world what YOU want it to be. In the words of Thomas L. Holdcroft “Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.”