This I Believe

Sophie - Denver, Colorado
Entered on May 8, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, love, question

Shallow Love

Forced love is not real love. Real love engulfs the mind in trust and loyalty and unless that is genuine, then real love does not exist. It seems that love is like a requirement; a box that needs a check-mark through it. This causes people to crave being loved, even to the point that they don’t care if it is sincere. Yet empty love is not as fulfilling and in time only experiencing fake love is worse than not loving at all. Fake love exists when one feels morally obligated to love but it cannot ever be anything more than shallow.

I learned through my dad that love is a heavier burden than imaginable. Especially if the love is thrown at you to handle when you haven’t had to deal with it for years. He could escape it all by being a workaholic and although he supported the family none of it was emotional. After my parents’ divorce the one on one time with my father seemed like years of awkward conversations about anything that could hold longer than a minute. This is when I began to wonder what love really is.

Loving a relative can be a difficult thing. They may be part of your DNA, but do you have to identify with them? A person that you would not associate with in another setting is required to be your friend when you are related. What if they were the person that laughed when you squinted your eyes in the sun as a baby because they thought your pain was funny? What if they were the person with unorthodox morals? What if you completely clashed? Tolerating pain is the difference between true love and fake love. When you truly are in love or love someone, even if they hurt you it can still be moved on from, it tears you up inside, but you fix it and you still love. When love is not tangible then you might move on from the pain, but it shakes you to your core in a way that breaks trust forever. I believe that you know when you really do love someone. I believe that forced love is not real love.