No matter how much you avoid it, you’re stuck with your family. Every human has experienced some kind of childhood. They all think the same way. “I can’t wait till I leave the house.” “I hate this place! I want to leave” “eighteen is so far away!” but truthfully, when you are finally eighteen and able to live by yourself, you choose not to.
When I was a child, I was inseparable from my parents. If anything were on my mind I would tell my mom. I was always, “Mommy! Mommy! I’m scared!” I always found her hand when walking through the grocery store, or out in public because I felt nervous, and uncomfortable. I felt that I didn’t I belong in the world yet.
At age six, our family took a trip to San Diego. We went to the zoo, which was supposed to be beautiful at that time of the year. While there, I somehow got separated from my family. The entire time I was on my own, I got extremely panicky. I was alone in an unfamiliar place in a different state. Being a six year old, that thought is quite terrifying. When I spotted my mom and dad at the top of an escalator I felt so relieved. I knew then, that I needed them more then ever.
When I got to age eight I started recognizing that life would be much better without an adult telling me what to do. “No honey, you can’t eat desert, you did not have your vegetables. Now go upstairs and get ready for bed!” If only I was out of the house, then I could have desert without vegetables.
When I turned thirteen I felt like the outside world was at my fingertips. I didn’t even have to ask to have ice cream, I just ate it whenever. But as I grew older, I realized that I still wanted to get out of the house. Being without adults means, no church, no school, nothing is forced upon you. It is as if there are no rules!
I am scared to move out now. I don’t want to have to buy my own food, cook my own meals, wash my own clothes, and make my own money. It means I have to get a job. That is what the material world is about. If you work, you make money. If you make money, then you can survive. Life was so simple as a kid.
When I die, my family will go to the funeral. Even if my parents would not be around, the rest of my family will attend. This I believe, that wherever you are, whoever you are, you will always need a family. They are the ones who will be there to help you up when you’re down, the ones who will dust the dirt off your clothes and say everything will be ok, which in reality, everything is.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.