This I Believe

Katie - Algonquin, Illinois
Entered on May 4, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

I believe true love can be a teacher. I have tried for many years to find true love, to find that special someone. I figured if I found that special person all my problems would disappear. Fortunately, I found out that in order to find true love, the pain from the problems had to be dealt with and I had to accept who I was. I learned this lesson through my boyfriend. His love has taught me many things, but this lesson of letting pain go to let love in is one lesson that I will cherish forever.

I met my boyfriend when I first moved up to Illinois from North Carolina. He came into where I was working and bought a Christmas present. The relationship took a course I never imagined it would have taken. I never thought for a second he would fill my life with instant joy. He did this by being an amazing individual. He was a person who knew who he was, was well rounded and fun to be around.

However, the joy only lasted six months. My boyfriend left to live his life and I was left with a broken heart. After the tears and heartache from the break up, I became a bitter person. I had crucified my boyfriend for being the person with the problems. Another six months would pass before I realized I was the person with the problems. I realized I was a very unhappy person and had been for a long time. I was a walking wreck emotionally. I had self-esteem issues, issues about who I was, issue about ever making something of my life, and why-bad-things-always happened to me issues. I had barricaded my heart with all this. I recognized I had lost sight of what was important in my life. The problems were forcing me to close my heart. I ended up being someone I wasn’t.

In the end this was a lesson I had to learn. In order to move past this not only did I have to deal with the problems, but also had to let them go. That is what my boyfriend’s love taught me. I was only going have happiness in my life if I would deal with the problems. With that in mind I decided with New Year I would make changes.

Despite my mistakes, my boyfriend would return to my life. He contacted me by email last October. I told him I sorry for everything that I had done. I told him I had dealt with my problems and started to appreciate my life. I also said my life was incomplete without him. With many conversations over Christmas we decided to make things official again.

True love is a teacher because I know where I would be if my boyfriends’ love were not true. I would be making the same mistakes and still feel miserable. His love opened my eyes so I could see what I was doing, and it was valuable lesson. I am a better person because of his love. I learn from him everyday and I am very thankful.