This I Believe

Jamie - Tinley Park, Illinois
Entered on May 4, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, tolerance

I believe that we have to accept certain limitations in people.

Throughout my life I have had quite a few of the proverbial bad days. One in particular that I can remember was the day my mom said the following words to me; “Get out, I don’t want you here anymore.” Although it seems like she was kicking me out, and as I look back I guess she was, this was something she said to me in a conversation about going away to school. We weren’t getting along at the time and she wanted me to switch schools to one that was not so close to my house.

To back-track a little bit, my mom and I have always had some tension in our relationship. Ever since I was in high school, I have felt that she really didn’t understand me. Every aspect of my life from why I had the friends I did, even to the way I did my hair, she just couldn’t seem to identify with me. Throughout high school I was always closer to my dad, I just felt that I could talk to him without constantly being judged or looked down upon. My relationship with my dad seemed to put yet another strain on the relationship between my mom and I. I felt like she was upset or even jealous that I talked to my dad about things, and I didn’t talk to her about them. This did strike me as strange because all throughout my life my parents have told me that it never mattered who I talked to, as long as I talked to one of them so they knew what was going on in my life.

The day that my mom spoke those words to me, my heart shattered. Regardless, I did exactly what she asked, I applied to Lewis and within three weeks I became a student, then packed up my life and moved on to campus. At that point in my life I was quiet and a bit sad. This was mostly due to my relationship with my mom, and the thought of knowing that I wasn’t wanted in my own home. That day in my life seemed bad; however since then I have seen worse days, for example, with the deaths of a friend or family member.

In my three and a half years here at Lewis, I have grown into such a different person. My mom and I still have our moments, but I have accepted the fact that she will never be fully supportive of me. I have accepted the fact that her and I will never really see eye to eye, and that she will never really understand who I am. Finally, I have accepted the fact that she, and most people that I will encounter in life, has certain limitations to what she can believe about me and my capabilities. That she is limited on the things she can understand about me and my life.

I am very proud to say that I have been extremely fortunate at my time here at Lewis, and that I have made some of the best friends, with who I have the most amazing memories. I know that these people are limited to what they can understand, just like my mom is. But I also know that they understand me and will be a part of me and for the rest of my life.