I believe my restless nature is a healthy coping mechanism. Personally, I relish being in airports, train stations, bus terminals and any other sort of structure that alludes to a change of scenery. I remember being so miserable at my first job out of college that I would flee to Penn Station during my lunch break and look at the day’s destinations on the departures board. For some reason, this little routine made the situation less permanent and overwhelming. I swear, to this day, what keeps me sane at my desk job is the fact that I can see the commercial jets stream above the New York skyline out my window. I love being reassured of a life outside my existing one; for me it wards off the sense of hopelessness.
This sort of thinking has also seeped into other aspects of my life. Besides the need for a constant change of address, I often switch boyfriends at the mere glimpse of inadequacy, and jobs at the prospect of something more thrilling. My behavior has led some of my closest friends to comment on, what they perceive as, an issue with committing to anything. Even my mother has said that I deal with any resistance in my personal endeavors by boarding the next redeye.
However, I must disagree, I feel that having a restless nature has preserved my ability to hold out for the right elements to compliment my life. It is so easy to be weighed down by life’s disappointments, trust me I’ve already had my fair share, and simply make do with what you are given. As idealistic as it may be, I hope to greet a majority of my life’s mornings with a sense of possibility.
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