I never feel more alive than when I stay up all night writing a paper or studying for a test that’s due the next day. There is something powerful and intoxicating about sleep deprivation. I believe this is why I will make an excellent medical student, resident, and doctor. There is beauty in the headache you feel once you hit midday and all you’ve slept in the past day and a half is two hours on a couch. That hot shower and cup of coffee in the morning in some way make up for the lost sleep. Maybe I’m just a night owl, but I believe in the beauty of a dark night, especially long walks back from the library at the darkest of hours. A good song will get you through anything, good or bad. I believe in the power of Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, and punk rock. There’s a certain sense of desperation in old country music and punk rock that I can’t find anywhere else. I don’t hate the South or Chattanooga. I may have at one point, but no longer. I’m Southern and there’s no way around it. It took Mark Twain and William Faulkner a life time to wrestle with the things they loved and loathed about the South. Medical school can wait. Graduation can wait. Adulthood can wait. There are too many opportunities for growth on every level to rush towards some preset finish line. What’s another year. I believe in victory laps, not fifth years of undergrad. I believe in a Higher Power, how can I not. Life is too intricate, grand, harrowing, confusing, challenging, and beautiful to just settle on this whole journey as being a mere circumstance of environmental factors and time.
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