This I Believe

Faye - Chandler, Arizona
Entered on May 1, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: forgiveness

“Forgiveness is Power”

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” –Cherie Carter-Scott

I believe in forgiveness.

Here we go again. One of us siblings has disappointed my mom and we are once again in one of our so called “family meetings.” It consists of me, my two older sisters and my mom. The name is quite misleading, “family meeting”. It should be “mom is going to talk and you better listen oh and by the way, nothing you say will be right meeting.”

It begins with my mom yelling and commanding us in the kitchen. We don’t have a choice so we reluctantly oblige. So my mom starts with “make you feel guilty” statements and questions like “Why are you doing this to me? Are you doing this to hurt me?” or “Don’t you love me?” and the best or worst one of all “I would’ve left your dad a long time ago if it weren’t for you kids!” Ouch! That one always hurts and no matter how many times I hear it, the pain never eases.

I hated these family meetings. These are just waste of time and energy and most of all these made me angry, angry towards my mom. Overtime, this anger slowly created a wall that separated me from her. It is sad really, living under one roof and not acknowledging that the other exists. This wall has made us strangers.

But not all is lost.

Three years ago, the wall has slowly started to crumble.

I forgave my mom.

24 years of existence, two children and the aspiration of a better “me” taught me to let go of the negatives. One of which is the anger, the resentment towards my mom that occupied part of my heart. To be a better “me” I needed to forgive, to forgive is to let go of the pain and stop the hurt. Now my heart has more room.

Someday the wall will be gone but for now the wall is still crumbling down. And slowly, my mom and I are building a mother and daughter relationship, a far out cry from being strangers.

I believe in forgiveness for where there is forgiveness there is healing and where there is healing, there is growth.