This I believe
I believe I’m going to graduate from college. Every day I wake up ready to start a new day. I get my 1 ½ year old ready to go, dressed and fed. I get myself ready as well; getting my clothes on, and feeding myself as well. Pack up my backpack, and Ben’s diaper bag. I load up the car and we’re off to daycare first. I drop him off and then my day at class begins. I do as much as I can in class so my homework is minimal. I will then get out of class, pick up my son from daycare and go home so I can get ready for work.
My parents, whom I also live with, watch my son while I’m at work. I give him a kiss, say goodbye, and know that when I come home after work he’ll be asleep dreaming sweet dreams. I will arrive home usually shortly after 10 p.m. I will shower, perhaps do a bit of homework, and go to bed. If I’m lucky my son will wake up in the middle of the night and I’ll get to rock him back to sleep. Any time I am able to spend with him, I hold very close to my heart.
The next day will begin, and I will likely awaken to my son yelling some toddler gibberish from his crib, telling Mommy that he’s up and ready to start a new day. My days go one at a time. I know that is the easiest way to look at my life right now and not lose my sanity. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know that if I’m able to wake up every day, bring myself to class every day, and bring myself to work every day, that eventually I will be able to spend more time with my son.
Graduation isn’t optional for me. I need to be able to depend on myself and have my son know that his Mommy is able to take care of him. I do have my hands full, with school full time, work part time, and a toddler. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed and it doesn’t seem like I will ever get to my goal of graduating and having more time with my son. I know that I am missing a lot of time with my son that can never be replaced. His first words, his first steps, and all those firsts that parents eagerly wait for their children to do; I missed most of those. However, while it breaks my heart to not see him, I know that I’m doing the best thing for him and the end result of the sacrifices I make now will be worth it. I just have to keep my head up, keep moving forward, and keep telling myself that I’m going to graduate from college; because failure is not an option.
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