This I Believe

Ashley - Algonquin, Illinois
Entered on April 27, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

THE VALUE OF YOU

I believe in inner strength. I believe in the value of yourself and knowing your own self-worth. I believe it is ok to cry when you feel that the weight of your world is on your shoulders. I believe that every person and every experience makes you stronger whether affecting your life positively or negatively.

In the past 8 months my strength has been tried over and over again. I have not broken yet but I have hit some of my lowest points before picking myself back up. I have dealt with a lot, whether it is the secret life of a family member’s drug addiction or my mom having breast cancer. I will tell you that my mom is my best friend. She’s a shopping buddy, a confidant, and she’s someone that I could not live without. The thought of my mom even being capable of dying from cancer, no matter how bad it was, brought me to my knees. She pulled through though and the cancer is gone.

As scary as that is the day my mom told me that my dad had admitted himself to the hospital, for tightness in his chest, my eyes welled up and I began to cry. What made me laugh is that when she told me and I started to cry she initially assumed I was crying over a boy which happens but not when you find out that your dad thought he was having a heart attack.

I have gone through way too much heartache this year. The most recent with a guy who I dated, fell for, and one day he cut me out of his life completely for an ex-girlfriend who did many terrible things to him. He tested my strength and although many tears have been shed and a sense of helplessness consumed me I finally shed my last tears a few days ago and I discovered that I am a strong, independent girl, and am not willing to hang on to someone until they decide they are ready for me. It’s the fight you make for someone that makes that person worth waiting for.

I give him credit though because if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have developed a sense of self-worth and when I look in the mirror now I don’t tear myself apart wishing I was someone else, instead I set goals for myself, to make me happy. It’s since, that I have made the decision that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent. I have found the smiling girl I thought I had lost. The tears have stopped and I am making plans to better myself. Each of these things makes me stronger and builds myself value. If you’re not confident in your own self-value then you can never expect someone else to know. It is the value you place on yourself that allows others to see how valuable you truly are.