This I Believe
Ever since I was too tall to go into the play tunnels at McDonalds, I have missed being a child. I remember the laughs the parks and the children I used to play with and wish that I could go back. I have come to finally accept that everyone has to grow up sometime, but back then I guess I was scared to leave the world of a child. The ignorance and protection from the sinister ideas of murder and hate which subsided in the adult world made me feel safe. It was around third grade that everything started changing, children and I still played but it was different now, the sand box was for babies and the power rangers weren’t cool any more. Sports were the new cool thing and winning was more important than having fun. The fifth grade came soon, and it seemed that girls were now a part of our lives. My former friends had become little packages of instant violence. I still holding on to that last bit of child’s innocence left in me neglected the idea of fighting. Sixth grade rolled around and the guys only cared about you if you had a girlfriend or displayed your brute strength in their fights. I soon became an outcast and a sad mush. In seventh grade I moved to another part of L.A. and I didn’t even bother looking for friends. The seat in the corner was my only friend and my drawings the only people I knew. I hid from the cruel world of violence and perversion in the only place not corrupted by the ways of evil people, the park. This was the last glimmer of safety and peace still accessible by me. I seldom played mostly I watched I spent most of my time there playing chess with the ultimate fountains of wisdom on this earth. He beat me and then he told me to walk with him to a bench. He sat down and just watched all the children at play. At that moment I knew that the old man also longed for the opportunity to be a child. He wanted to run, play and be free. He told me that and he also told me never to lose my inner child. Through countless nights of restlessness insomnia I have realized that that there will be a day in which I will have to grow up, have responsibilities, get a job, and maybe even get married but I will always be a child where it counts… at heart.
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