This I Believe

Benjamin - Brevard, North Carolina
Entered on April 18, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

Friendship circles are very complex and varied. I have many different levels of friends and people that I consider friends are very important to me. I have two friends that I consider more like family and would gladly lay my life down for them but at the same time I have friends that I don’t feel the same way about. Let me tell you about my experiences this semester at Brevard College. One fateful night me and two friends went to a local bar and met the most amazing woman that I have ever met and became friends with her. As time went by one of my friends started dating her for a bit and (I’ll spare you the details) it ended rather badly. The other friend that I was with on that night (the one that didn’t end up dating her) remained friends with her and me. At first this was two separate things and I was under the impression that she was perturbed at me as well and asked her if this was the case. Her response was no, thankfully, and from that point on we three were the best of friends for a wile but then a fourth friend was introduced to the mix and he had an “intimate” encounter with her as well. He for reasons unknown to me decided that after that encounter that he would no longer have anything to do with her. Naturally she was upset and me being the kindhearted person that is driven to seek answers for inconsistencies that I am, confronted this fourth friend about it he was not willing to explain and I was the cause of more stress rather than the solution to the previously generated stress. Now this amazing friend that was one of only three people in my life that has made me feel good about myself and that it is okay to be myself has said to me that the friendship is over because I still associate with the people that had hurt her. I tried to explain that that has absolutely no bearing on how I feel about her and that I would rather be with her than them, but her mind was made up. To make matters worse the third person of the trio decided that he was going to withdraw from BC for reasons unrelated to the chaotic social situation that had arisen. I now am alone here at BC, since I have disavowed the friend that had hurt my dearest of friend. To those that are in similar situations let me tell you what I believe, I believe that if all of your friends can’t get along then well that sucks for them but as for you that doesn’t mean that you have to be around all of them at the same time; enjoy the ones you’re with when you’re with them and the don’t worry about the ones that aren’t there you’ll see them when you see them and deal with it accordingly, I don’t believe that just because someone you are friends with is friends with someone you don’t like that you should stop being friends with the one that you do like. I hope that that makes sense to you all because the events of this semester have ground that belief firmly into my heart.