This I Believe

John - Bloomington, Indiana
Entered on April 10, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: love

I believe that love doesn’t last forever, probably isn’t even real. This belief has been changed many times, and I don’t expect it to stay the same. I came to believe this a year ago, before I moved, and when I didn’t stare off into the distance, deep in thought.

It was September, 2006 and my sister, Amanda, and I were watching some old movie and my mom was casually checking her e-mail. I didn’t get a good look at her face until she turned around to the TV, she was crying. That was never a good sign, because the only thing that could make her cry is another family member died, or she’s in physical pain. A day later she was still crying, so I decided to work myself up to asking her what was wrong. It turned out no one was dead, and there was no physical injury; my dad was divorcing her. For a moment I felt sick, then a huge wave of rage fell over me and after that I never wanted to see my dad again. Occasionally he comes to pick Sara up, but he avoids any room I’m in. The last time he came near me on purpose I threw a chair at him. Later I found the real reason why he divorced, he had been cheating on my mom since I was five years old, and he wanted to marry his IU professor. After awhile, my rage grew to shame. I was ashamed to be a part of him. I rejected every aspect of him, even changed my last name to my mother’s.

Now, we’ve moved to a different part of town, into a bigger house, better neighborhood. He has almost completely stopped talking to us except to figure out child support. He tried to get me to see him on my birthday in March, but I gave him a long, nasty e-mail, and never heard from him again, even on holidays.

Throughout this whole experience, my belief of ‘Love doesn’t last forever’ has changed. I realized some love does last forever. The love between my mom and dad never existed on my dad’s part, but between my mom and my sisters, love has so far lasted forever. I also realized it can twist and shape your life into any shape it likes. This is what I believe.