This I Believe

Marlon - bath, Maine
Entered on April 8, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: fear

Standing at the net, racket in hand, I sweat fear. Just two seconds to decide: left or right, all the while praying for the ball not to hit me in the face. I let the air out of my lungs swinging madly when, pow, a perfect hit. I made the shot.

I believe in fear. I believe in the heart pounding, gut wrenching, sweaty palm kind of fear. Fear that makes your heart beat so hard you can’t help but know you are alive. The kind of fear that moves you.

Fear has always been in my life. Standing at the net in tennis is only one kind of fear.

Fear of failure, rejection, and appearing immature always follows me. Yet it makes me stronger. Fear has led me to take risks I could never imagine.

Standing in front of a crowd 150 large, I am terrified. For three weeks I delayed the inevitable. Now it’s my turn. Time to stand all alone with no music and let it all out. I am not scared of singing; I know I am horrible. I am scared of the 150 people. 150 seniors, juniors, and teachers to be specific. This was my first big test in fear.

Fear has led me to accomplish the impossible. Not only did I sing on that one occasion, but eight other times. I played on a tennis team that won the league division. I have accomplished so much because of my fear.

When I am afraid I do better. I push myself harder because of my fear. I am afraid of being weak. I am also afraid of what others think of me. So I use my fear. I stand out and let my presence be known. I don’t let my fear overrun me; I let it motivate me to accomplish the impossible.

Without fear I would be lazy. I would do nothing with my life. Fear motivates me to do more. I am constantly afraid that I might miss out on something. So, I get up and find out what I could be doing. I am happier, more self confidant, and motivated because of fear. The only way to beat my fear is to face it. When my heart is beating, my stomach twisting with butterflies, and I’m sweating, I am at my best.