Love Is a Choice
“Let us not love with words or tongue, but with action and in truth.” 1 John 3:18. Many believe that love is effortless. They think it’s just three simple words. I agreed with them for the longest time. I, too, was blinded by love. But now I know…love is the hardest thing life has thrown at me.
My friend, Mary’s parents were together since high school. They were joyfully married with three amazing kids. Their oldest son was eve going to get marred in the summer! They would go hiking together all the time, with charming romantic dates every once in a while. They were under love’s spell. But then the hikes became separate and the dates disappeared. Replacing them came yelling and tears. They had given up. No longer did they see love as easy. No longer were they lost in a world of love. They had discovered that love took work and they weren’t willing to roll up their sleeves.
Mary isn’t the only one who has had dilemmas with parents. My parents have had troubles for as long as I can remember. I can still picture the day I came home from a friend’s house expecting to walk into a shower of hugs and kisses; but what I got was just the opposite. I didn’t hear “I love you” or “I missed you”; all I heard was my brother clicking at the computer, and the faint voices of my parents locked in their room. They were fighting again. It wasn’t the first time, but it was still scary. As I got closer to my room, across the hall from my parents room, the faint voices became yelling. They yelling was like thunder rumbling over and over in my head.
I woke up the nest day with my parents sitting at the table like nothing had happened. I was so confused; weren’t they just yelling at each other? Time went along with fighting, but they battles were always followed by affection. As I grew up I was still slightly puzzled but slowly it started to make sense. They loved each other and they weren’t’ going to let little struggles get in their way. They had made the choice on their wedding day to love each other no matter what. That’s when I knew love was a choice, not a feeling.
After many experiences with love, like my friend and my own parents, I realized love isn’t fun; it’s not easy at all. Love is work. “I love you.” It’s not just three words you use lightheartedly. Actually, it’s three tremendously though words; words that mean you are willing to work your hardest for. You don’t just get love; you have to word extremely hard for it.
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