Bow Down to Duct Tape
I believe in duct tape, the greatest substance on God’s green Earth. It all began in the third grade when my old trapper keeper ripped and all my papers fell out. In my moment of despair, my teacher came up to me with a glistening silver roll, taped up the rip and put the papers back in the folder. Duct tape saved me from total embarrassment that day. It didn’t quit on the job or say, “I can’t do this.” Duct tape saved me from humiliation in the third grade and continues to do the same today: my car is held together with duct tape and a prayer.
My belief is universal. Almost any trait of duct tape is beneficial for people to have. We need to be more like duct tape. Duct tape is resourceful, confident, loyal, trusting, and around a buck seventy-five per roll. Duct tape can hold almost anything together, heal warts, serve as clothes, and even seal vent ducts.
I haven’t always been duct tape’s greatest fan; I’ve even thought it was called “duck tape.” I used to wonder, “what do ducks need tape for?” Now I know the truth behind duct tape. It serves a role that no other adhesive can; being a role model. Duct tape isn’t a quitter, and its limitations are unseen. It is resourceful in that it has over half a dozen uses.
If more people were resourceful, our civilization would be more advanced; people wouldn’t crack under pressure. Having senses of security allows people to deal with difficult situations. Duct tape deals with tricky situations and usually turns users’ frowns upside-down. Duct tape shows us self-confidence is vital for success: in the words of the great Sun Tzu, “[He who knows himself] will win all battles.” Duct tape knows itself and its opposition; WD-40. Duct tape shows us that even inanimate objects can have enemies. Duct tape has proven to be far more useful than WD-40.
Duct tape’s greatest accomplishment is saving the lives of the Apollo Thirteen astronauts; the astronauts put their lives in duct tape’s hands, and I’m not surprised. When the carbon monoxide filters on the spaceship failed, duct tape was there to attach the new filter receptacles. If Duct tape had let the astronauts down, they wouldn’t have survived, and Tom Hanks would have starred in one less movie.
The reason why duct tape has been able to do so much is due to its “looseness.” Duct tape is open to trying to resolve any “unsticking” situations; duct tape has never refused to try holding anything together. Duct tape is open to everything, which allows it to be used everywhere. Its vagueness gives it power in generality of uses. Duct tape shows us it’s good to be Renaissance men and women. It’s good to be open-minded and have a broadened scope on life and its purpose. Duct tape holds the world together. I believe in duct tape.
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