This I Believe

Kathy - Golden, Colorado
Entered on March 20, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: change

At the early age of 38, I received confirmation that I was in the early stages of menopause. As strange as this may sound it was a great relief. My symptoms weren’t the classic hot flashes but rather subtle, crazy-making changes that disrupted my life as I had enjoyed it. A flat, strong abdomen became round and swollen (was I eating more than I normally did?), my desire for exercise, sex, laughter, creativity, or simple movement was all but gone (who was I to not want to do these joyful things?). And anxiety; god, anxiety that moved my mental space to places I couldn’t explain nor could my husband understand. None of my friends were in menopause. I was in a fog and had lost my desire to exist. I was uninspired towards living Life and dangerously depressed.

I believe there is incredible wisdom behind menopause for both men and women. Somehow, I feel I am on a kind of “fast track” program to gaining a soft and gentle understanding of the body, mind and very essence of who I am. I can feel this knowingness deep within my being. It is as if I am behind a curtain back stage and getting a sneak peak at the entire play all at once but can’t verbalize it to anyone. At a time when I was incredibly lonely I somehow found the comfort and intelligence of older women who had been through this very same change. What a confirmation for me to see these vibrant women thriving in their 60s and 70s.

Five years into menopause, I believe that the Creator knew why mid-life change was necessary for our growth – I am more focused, calm, understanding, accepting and trusting of this invisible transformation more than any other time in my life and I don’t worry about not having that sculpted exterior. My self care comes from a deeper, kinder and loving place. I am not afraid of menopause; I welcome the next mysterious and beautiful clue.

I believe the insights I am gaining for myself are to be revealed with others. Men and women of all ages seem to gravitate to me simply to talk their life out – I believe menopause prepared me for these visits and connections, allowing for a place of trust with their stories.

I believe mid-life changes are bring all of us to our core Truth at a much quicker pace because now, more than ever, humans need to be kind to each other allowing for the true essence of themselves to shine through. This I Believe.

I believe menopause and mid-life changes are brining all of us closer to our true selves and that one day, there won’t be a stigma attached to approaching the most exciting time of our lives.