Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and simple don’t give a damn about anything? You spend so much of your time on the go – working, going to class, saving, spending, conversing, learning, planning – all in hopes of progressing towards a set goal to achieve in life or to find some answer or meaning for living. Days of action and motion have become mundane and boring for me. All I usually get out of it is tired. I have no solid plans or means to reach a desired goal and I’m ready to give up trying to answer those big questions. I enjoy the days where I feel disconnected with everything and everyone; I feel like Neo when he finally removes that annoyingly huge plug from the back of his head and escapes that tub of disgusting goo.
I like those days where Philosophy is overrated and ignorance is everything. What good is it to try to find your place in the world when the general consent is that parts of you that makes up who you are is considered intolerable? If you like wearing jeans and sweatshirts because they’re comfortable and that’s all you can afford, you can’t get a job that pays more than your monthly rent or mortgage. If your desired career path leads to dying and low-paying occupations but it is your only option from being trapped in a cubicle, then you are lazy and don’t want to become an adult. If you get down on your knees and face Mecca to pray, you are not American, but either a terrorist or an accomplice to terrorism. If you don’t read the Bible often because you don’t understand a word that’s in it and there is so many contradicting ideas and viewpoints and none it seems to have enough legitimacy, then you may go to hell (3 out of 4 of these, I’m screwed!).
On those particular days the rain outside counteracts the alarm clock and the reign of horrifically giddy classmates and roommates is just alarming. I like my perfecting formed frown. I don’t appreciate people trying to ruin it on those days. They ask what’s wrong with no intention of caring about the answer, just as long as you finish, they are the one who cheers you up that day and get the merit badge.
Sometimes the pressure of living up to others’ expectations of you and the aggravation of not getting any of your big questions answered requires you to have a day off from life itself. There is nothing wrong with lying in bed all day and ignore the 12-page paper due, or pissing off all your friends because you chose not to sit at the table with them for dinner for just one or two days. To have a dream of jumping off a building is not so bad (This has nothing to do with me!). I see the act of being lost to the air and wind as the real escape, just before life pulls you back to earth with animosity towards you for even considering ignoring it for a while. I believe everyone should take a day off every once in a while. Everything else about our lives is fast enough as is.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.