I believe early afternoon naps should be mandatory. I’ll support legislation mandating a daily twenty-minute after lunch snooze, and I’ll tell you why. I simply feel better, more at peace with others and myself. There is hard scientific data to support my theory. I’m sure there is. There has to be. There are scientific studies supporting such important subjects as evolution. There are impassioned people, complete with data concluding that evolution is absolute nonsense. Many, most, all scientists with a conscience believe burning fossil fuels increases the Earth’s temperature and is creating an enormous problem. Yet there are others at the highest level who insist climate change is just the way it is, always has been, always will be. Most people would say that they are too busy to take an after lunch rest bit. I would argue that by doing so, you’d be even more productive, recoup that time, and create free time that didn’t exist before. Didn’t Einstein write about this? The scope of studies is endless, there simply must be something proving the benefits of a brief afternoon catnap.
No one can be excluded. Politicians, celebrities, and professional athletes, all included. No excuses. It looks like Ronald Reagan took a lot of naps. I think Dick Cheney could use a good nap. Most politicians will take a nap if the polls indicate that is the favorable thing to do. I think during the halftimes of Sunday football games the players should have to take a nap. They’ll be better off for it. Hockey presents an interesting challenge. There are three periods resulting in two intermissions to clean the ice. Therefore I think the players should take two ten-minute naps, one at each intermission. The players will be much less likely to want to rearrange each other‘s facial features. Then again, fans will probably lose interest, nobody will go to the games and the nice people outside selling sweet sausage subs with red and green peppers and onions that smell like an unscheduled afternoon off will suffer. That’s not right. OK, maybe there can be an amendment for hockey players. In NASCAR people drive around an oval track making lots of really fast left-hand turns. There is the inevitable wreck. Every once and a while pieces of the car go flying into the stands. Now that’s entertainment. When there’s a crash, the yellow caution flag comes out. The drivers have to drive slowly in circles until the smear gets cleaned up. What an excellent opportunity for a nap. I know when I’m driving long distances I always feel better when I pull over to take a nap. In my opinion, most celebrities are just famous for being famous. I’ll admit I don’t know too much about celebrities but I’ll bet they have ample time to take a nap.
I’m looking forward to finding concrete evidence to support my theory, of course, after a good nap.
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