On January 12, 2007, I was granted a divorce on grounds of adultery. My husband had a very public affair with a much younger coworker.
When I look back, I can’t believe the horror that was this time last year. I am appalled at the things I put up with. I can’t believe I accepted his lies and tried so hard to save something that obviously meant so little to other people. I can’t believe the person I was. I can’t believe I ever loved someone so much, who in the end didn’t even show me a modicum of respect.
It’s shocking to me. That person I was. SO blinded by love and this quiet desperation to “save” my marriage when I should have gotten out ASAP.
Love blinds totally and irrevocably sometimes. Then sometimes you wake up. And, everything is so much brighter and more beautiful in your new reality that you want to cry every day out of joy.
I was happily married but I am euphorically single.
A friend of mine told me that every day he wakes up and lists all of the things that he is thankful for and this helps him have a more positive outlook on life. I do this. I am thankful for the people that held me up when my entire world came crashing down around me. They helped me pick up the pieces and showed me so much love that I have faith in people like I have never had before.
Today I am thankful that I have a beautiful condo that I bought myself, a car that runs, two overly affectionate cats, delicious sushi within a ten minute drive, a good Pinot Noir stashed away, my health, my talent, my jobs and a motley group of wonderful people in my life that never cease to amaze me.
This became clear to me one day because of a t-shirt.
I have been called Wonder Woman most of my adult life. I’ve seen things much worse than an ugly divorce and have bounced back without pause. I’m high energy and have never shied away from a difficult task. I’ve been there, done that in many situations. And, I’m not even 30.
I had this red Wonder Woman t-shirt that I LOVED. I threw it away after I picked up my then husband from a friend’s wedding, listened to him drunkenly scream at me about a multitude of things that had nothing to do with me and then shrunk back as if I had been slapped when he said one silly thing: “You look ridiculous in that t-shirt. You’re no Wonder Woman.”
A couple of months ago, I bought a new Wonder Woman t-shirt and totally forgot about it. It’s been in my closet waiting. I was searching for something to wear today and pulled it out. Everything from this time last year came back to me and I just started down my list of everything I’m thankful for.
I’m a much stronger person now. I feel so happy, successful and blessed. And, I sure as hell won’t put up with that from any future men in my life.
I’m now seeing a nice guy. I adore his wit, ambition, intelligence and morals. The question remains if he can keep up with me – I am Wonder Woman after all – but he seems to be doing just fine. And, I’ve always wanted a man who can explain the weather, real estate AND physics to me over dinner. He can. And, then some.
Stronger, newer Indi is not afraid of new love or of life. I grab it, hang on and have a great time.
I went out with a group of friends who happen to play rugby. Not only can these guys hit hard, but it turns out they’re pretty good dancers. And, complete gentlemen – no funny business. It was like having 15 older (and younger) brothers and an odd British uncle. We danced A LOT. Something I never did when I was married. Wonder Woman probably dances around her house in her own Underoos when she’s not out saving the world.
The t-shirt is not as soft as my old Wonder Woman t-shirt was – from being worn and washed so much. But, it will be soon. Wonder Woman is back. This I Believe.
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