This I Believe

Sarah - Lawrence, Kansas
Entered on March 1, 2007

This I Believe

Have you ever thought of God as being a novelist? I have. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer and I’ve been on a quest to create that incredible character. A character that faces the most difficult circumstances and finds it forever changes them. To me, that’s the best kind of story.

That’s why I believe God is an incredible novelist. I believe God is creating and recreating characters everyday. Take a recent chapter from my life. Joshua is my four year old son. A little over a year ago we knew something was wrong with him. He wasn’t developing like other kids his age. He barely spoke, threw tantrums, and showed little interest in anything unless it involved letters or numbers. After a year of puzzled therapists, I was on my knees pleading to God, telling Him I couldn’t live another day like this. My patience had run out and I had nothing left. I had to know what to do.

Much to my surprise the very next day my prayer was answered. Our early intervention worker assessed my son and suspected he had an autism spectrum disorder. There was my answer. Now me—my character had to decide what do to next. Everything around me changed in that instant. I no longer knew who my son was. I had no idea what kind of mother I was supposed to be. I didn’t know what to think. That’s not supposed to be the story line. You fall in love, get married, make babies, live happily ever after. That’s how the story is supposed to go.

But let’s be honest, if the story really went that way, it wouldn’t be a story at all. My character would never develop and I would never meet my potential. I believe God knows me so well that he knows exactly how to make me, well—me.

And that’s why at times in my life I’ve had what seem to be the most unsurpassable hurdles. And I think the reader, and the author, of my story thinks “What will she do next?” “Will she rise to the challenge?” “Will she give up in defeat?” That’s why God makes the best stories. He gives us the test our character needs and lets us decide what to do. And just like in any epic story, I know that my character will never be the same because of my journey.