This I Believe

Catherine - St. Paul, Minnesota
Entered on March 1, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family

I believe that I do not know anything for sure. I believe that what we know to be true can change in a fraction of a second

When I was a little girl I knew I was a big sister. My little sister was sick and she was going to have an operation that made her better. I knew she would get better and I had plans for all of the things that we would do together after the operation.

The day of the operation my parents came to pick me up from the friend’s house that I was staying at. They were together and alone. For the past two years I had hardly ever seen them together, one of them was always at the hospital. I knew then that something was wrong. They were dressed nicely, like they were going to church, but they looked very strange. They moved differently, and it seemed like their eyes didn’t see. It was as if someone had scooped out their insides and left their skins to walk around.

My dad told me. He said, “Your sister didn’t make it.” I didn’t quite understand at first, the idea that she had died was an impossible one. It must have been torture for him, but he finally told me “She died.”

On the way home, I remember sitting between my mother and father in the front seat of our car and looking up at my father driving. I saw on his face silent tears rolling to his chin. I had never seen my father cry. I had seen him mad and I had seen him happy but crying was something he didn’t do. In that second I realized that the world had turned upside down and things would never be the same again. What I knew to be true was no longer true.

Now, I try not to take the people that I love for granted, and I try not to think that I know what is going to happen tomorrow. I believe that we are all changing creatures living in a changing world and that nothing is certain. I don’t know anything for sure, this I believe.