This I Believe

Brittany - Columbus, Ohio
Entered on February 25, 2007


This I Believe Essay

A life composed nearly entirely of hardships and defeat has led me not to disparity and discouragement, but into faith and resilience for the upcoming future. I wake up not only wanting to overcome the hardships of yesterday, but wanting to prove them wrong and excel far beyond success and achievement. I believe in having faith in tomorrow.

I live a life where I feel I’ll never measure up to the expectations of who my father wants me to be. It’s a never ending process of disappointment and failed attempts to finally make him proud. Every tear that falls is just another reminder of my inability to be enough. Every attempt to be who he wanted me to be led to one more realization that I could never be that person. Every disapproving glance reminded me that I was still the same person I had tried my entire life not to become. I live with this notion that I will never understand who I am without his approval. I long for that sense of self-identity that seems so far out of reach. Through all of this, faith in tomorrow is the only hope that these things won’t always be.

I am heartbroken by his inability to recognize what I have accomplished and be proud of me for what I am. But at the same time, I am propelled to work even harder and do everything within my reach to succeed.

I have to believe in having faith in tomorrow to get me through each day. By believing that good things will come to those who wait, I know tomorrow holds the promise of change. My entire life cannot be composed entirely of days ending in tears, eventually; I too, will have that happily ever after. That is what tomorrow will bring.

I believe that I have to find strength in those who do support me. Why I can overlook fifteen supportive friends, teachers, and family members’ positive portrayal of myself to be brought down by one, unhappy perspective, I will never understand. But I believe by looking to those who have faith in me, I will find the strength to believe in myself.

I need to find happiness in who I am. I believe I need to realize that my happiness shouldn’t be dependent upon someone else’s opinion of who I am. I need to look around me at all that I have achieved and find fulfillment in those accomplishments. I need to focus not on the one person who can’t accept what I’ve become, but on those who have been touched by the impact I’ve had on their life.

It’s difficult, to come to the realization that I may never be able to make him proud. I might never see a look of gratitude and satisfaction on the face of my father in my regard. But with my own faith in tomorrow, I can still hope to see those things.

I believe in the faith in tomorrow and await the day tomorrow is today. I believe in the faith in tomorrow and the hope that good things will come. I believe in faith in tomorrow and a sense of acceptance and profound sense of who I am.