Ever since my youth, I always did things for other people. I never really thought about it until I looked back at my life and questioned why I did some things. It seemed as though I looked for ways to impress others. I wanted them to see me as a hard-working person everyone could talk to and trust. Every time someone asked me to do something, no matter how difficult or tiring the task was, I would always be happy to accept.
The memories of me in drama stand out the most. An amazing teacher taught our class. She always seemed exhausted and on the verge of a mental breakdown, though. I almost felt a sense of pity for her; maybe that’s why I always wanted to help. I felt like I needed to win her approval somehow, appear better than the others, or just to gain her trust. I never understood why, but I took pride in hearing people say “thank you” or “you’re so helpful.”
Useful people appeared more trusted among others. They see that person as a hard worker and who can always be depended upon. I also strove for others dependency in me. When people depend on a person, people look to him to find the answers. They think he can solve any problem.
Recently I try to do things for myself, though. I ask myself, “What do I want to do?” When someone asks me to do something for them I still feel I need to do it because I want to earn their trust. I even try to gain the trust of people I don’t even like. After I helped them I questioned why I even did that! I would soon realize it was kind of instinctive for me to help out.
Impressing others was basically my life’s goal. It was involuntary and most times annoying. However, it made me into that trusted, dependable person I strove to become. As I look back, I’m proud I became useful and somebody appreciated me being there for them. I guess I don’t mind doing things for other people
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