I believe in surrender. Throughout my life I’ve always known the next step. After elementary school I would continue to middle school and finally live the life of a teenager. Next, would come high school to experience the “best years of my life.” I would get my driver’s license allowing me the freedom I had waited so long for, and my friends and I would spend many exciting nights driving to destinations like the movies and Denny’s. After what would seem like decades, I would graduate high school and go to college. It was comforting to know that there was a next step. If my life as it was didn’t satisfy me, at least I could look forward to what was next in hopes that there I would discover the answers to the emptiness I felt. Maybe there I would find what I needed to fill that hole I felt grow deeper as each step came and went.
The day I moved away to college a strange feeling rose up inside me that I had not expected. I felt nauseous and depressed. I couldn’t explain it. This was supposed to be the most exciting time in my life. Of course I would be sad to leave my family, but what I felt went beyond sadness. My life seemed hopeless. All of a sudden I didn’t know what the next step in my life would be. I was surrounded by a world that didn’t know me and couldn’t care less for me. What would I do after college? Would I get a good job? Would I get married, or would I spend the rest of my life just hoping for that special someone? I felt dead, but what I didn’t realize was that true life was just a decision away.
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31. In my hopelessness, the only way to turn was toward the Lord. Nothing else in my life so far had offered me what I really longed for. No step along the way had left me satisfied. In my quest for purpose, I had missed the fact that my purpose could only be found in Jesus Christ. The burdens and the fears of this world had left me weak, but it was only now that I realized it. As soon as I made the decision to surrender every burden and every fear to the Lord I could finally breath. I don’t know the next step in my life but I now have peace in the living God, who is faithful and trustworthy. It was not until I surrendered my life to Him that I found complete freedom. No longer will I limp through life seeking the next step, but I will “soar on wings like eagles” because God is my strength and with Him I have life.
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