This I Believe

Cassi - Chelan, Washington
Entered on February 6, 2007
Age Group: Under 18

In today’s society, it’s a fact that there are good things, as well as evil. Most of the evil my mind can comprehend, however, there is one thing that eats at me.

When I was young, my mom would go to work and my dad would watch over me and my sister, who is 2 years younger than I. On some days, my dad would have me and my sister go into our parents’ bedroom, lay on the bed, and place the blankets over our heads. What would happen next was what my sister and I thought of as a game. As the situation continued to occur, I became curious about what my dad was doing to our lower bodies. When I asked, he only replied, “I’m giving you medicine,” and showed me a small medicine. I trusted him, being only about 7, and let it alone. Eventually, the bedroom meetings stopped and I didn’t think anything of it. As I grew up, became more mature, and learned more about sexual education, I started forming a picture of exactly what had happened.

I was about 12 when I officially decided my sister and I had been victims to molestation. The “medicine bottle” was only a prop that my dad used to convince us it wasn’t bad. It was actually a Carmex jar from his bed-side table. At first, I found it difficult to admit to myself that my wonderful, fun, loving dad had done something so horrible, but I now realize that I need to be open with the fact and accept that it happened. Now, at 17, roughly 10 years since my dad stopped the molestation, I am becoming open with the subject and building confidence to talk about it to other people.

Being the victim to molestation, just as with any other type of sexual abuse, comes with side effects that many people don’t know how to suppress. Molestation occurs to 8 out of 10 women, and although it’s not as well known, boy and men as well. For these women, their emotional scarring causes them to be exposed to sexual pleasure and temptation at a very young age, become sex-driven, and sometimes even go into prostitution. When this is not the case, victims tend to isolate themselves and become depressed. Even I have had these experiences. I do find myself yearning for sexual experiences. However, I know if I were to get to that situation, with my boyfriend, of course, I would be nervous and embarrassed that maybe he would be able to tell what happened to me, which makes me feel ashamed. I believe this is not the way anybody should live their life; living in fear, in shame, and with degrading life-styles. I believe people have the right to uphold their innocence until they make the choice to give it up.

This, I believe.