I believe in writing.
I feel authentically me when I write what I know and, well, most days
what I know is me. My desire to write has always been strong. In June I decided to enter the unfamiliar world of blogging.
Blogging became a way for me to validate my writing.
I started blogging because I wanted to write more. I wanted to blog because I was ready for people to read my writing. I love to write and for years as I have been writing, people have asked me when I am going to write something ‘real’- like a novel, collection of poems, or some short stories. The catch for me in wanting to be a writer was that
even though I was writing and writing a lot, what I was writing wasn’t justifiable to many as ‘real’ writing. That frustrated me to no end. It was like I first had to write what I wanted to write and needed to write
in order to be me- my thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams…and then
I would try to write something, well, real. But I couldn’t come up with a story. I couldn’t find a direction. And I realized that was because I WAS the story, and even though I was trying very hard to hide that from myself, I knew deep down that my story was noteworthy.
I somehow just had to figure out how to accept that. So instead of plunging head first into this mystery world of ‘trying to be a writer’, I just continued to do what I have been doing since the 6th grade- journaling, excepting this time on the Internet, with a cooler name, “blogging”. It was scary to first start writing on the Internet because of the possibility of the whole world reading it. But that was exactly what was empowering about it too. I am in the wading pool of the ocean of writing (bad metaphors and all) and I like how the water feels. I look forward to blogging. I look forward to being honest. When I started blogging I decided that only honesty would go for me. The good, the sad, the unfortunate, the exciting. This is about how I feel, what I see, what I live, and who I want to be.
I don’t lie on m blog and it is my hope in being honest with myself that I begin to realize that who I am is just right. I am validated in being
me, exactly the way that I want to.
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