This I Believe

Daria - Chelan, Washington
Entered on February 6, 2007

This I Believe Essay

I believe in self determination, to be my own person.

When I was 14 my step dad Alberto touched me while I was sleeping. He’d come into my room when my mom went to work, she worked graveyard shifts. I didn’t say anything until my sister Felicia told me it was happening to her. When I told my mom she didn’t believe me. Next thing I knew I was on a plane to Chelan, Washington to live with my sister Rachel, this was in June of 2005. In January 2006 I talked to a detective about it, he helped me get my story out to the police in Utah.

Now it has been a year later and it’s barely going to trial.

I had to do it all by myself. My mom is still with Alberto and is going against me, but I’m determined for him to go to jail. I don’t want what has happened to me to repeat itself on someone else.

When this happened I became afraid of walking alone at night, and being alone in my own house during the night.

He has controlled me.

The dark is my enemy

Taunting me with its shadows.

Who knows what it could devour,

Maybe my soul,

Maybe my powers.

It took my thoughts

Making them dark

Making me fear.

I fear of the men that I can not fight

The fear of another man ruining my life.

The fear of another

Not believing my story.

I fear of a man betraying my trust

Of my friends turning their backs.

But most of all I fear of the dark.

When I close my eyes and dream,

Of everything that happened in the reality.

I believe in my self determination. To live each day to the fullest, to become a strong person. I can only do things for me, no one can make me do anything. Knowing Alberto can’t touch another girl is my determination to put him in jail, and tell people my story. Don’t fell sorry for me with my determination I am strong.

I have a dad who can’t work because he’s disabled. He has me buy food and pay rent; I’m determined to still hold my head high. I get social security once a month, but I can’t live off of it. I go to school and I have a job, but I still maintain good grades at school.

I want my life to be better than his.

I want to make something of myself.

Unlike most kids, I don’t receive everything handed to me. I didn’t get a car my 16th birthday, I got a job. I’m determined to get good grades, keep a job, and go to college. Hopefully my child’s lives will be better than mine is.

This is self determination,

This I believe.