This I Believe

Amanda - Allendale, Michigan
Entered on February 6, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

I believe that the fate of my marriage is not determined others’ statistics. When did love come to be judged by your age, your social class, your religion, your education, and your parents’ marital status? When did people stop believing in the power of love?

I am getting married this summer on my 20th birthday. Yes, I cannot even order a “Bachelorette’s last night out” drink at the bar, but I am engaged and I have been for two months. I have already I have heard, “You’re too young. His parents were divorced. He’s not Catholic.” But what do any of these numbers and titles have to do with our love? If love could be measured on a scale, would that be the scale it is measured on?

30 years ago people got married at my age all the time. Is a 20 year old younger today then they were 30 years ago? One of the first things on people’s minds when I tell them that I am engaged is “Oh my gosh are you pregnant?” No, but I am in love.

I believe that marriages are failing because society is setting them up for failure. Because, as far as I know, the vows did not change and I do not believe that true love is dead. What happened to saying “Congratulations,” or “You guys are great together!” Now we hear “Well, you know, half of all marriages fail, so good luck.” Are we creating some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy? It’s like we look to statisticians as fortune tellers. Since when can numbers from other peoples lives you more about your love than your own lover?

Those may be there stats, but I have mine too. I have been with my fiancé for 530 days, and there has not been one morning that he was not the first thing I thought about. There is not one day I haven’t told him that I loved him. For most of the school year we lived 9 hours apart, but we still spent every other weekend together. When he interned in Texas 1163 miles away, we made it work. Two weeks ago he moved back to Texas to start his new job, but it has not stopped us from planning our wedding. After our wedding I am moving those 1163 miles away from my family, my friends, and my home to be with him, and I am driving an 40 miles to school everyday, just I can tell him I love him in person.

Those who believe in true love support me; my parents who have been happily married for 27 years and my Grandma, who despite the loss of my Grandpa, still considers herself happily married after 60 years. I believe true love still exists, and everyone can find it. I do not consider myself a hopeless romantic per say, but I certainly do not consider myself hopeless.