This I believe: SLEEP is over rated. Sleep has become one of those
elusive things. If I get right to sleep then there is that “donut hole”
that can start anytime after 1:00AM. This can last 15 minutes to 2
hours. Then there are the nights that I wake up at 2:30am, and that is
it for the night. That was Monday night. Might as well get up as lay
there, thrashing in the bed trying to get comfortable. Last night
deciding that I MUST have sleep I took one of the over the counter pain relievers with the 2 letters after the regular names: PM. This did not work, I thrashed all night not awake not asleep in limbo. Damn am I Tired?! Then the alarm goes off at 4AM for work. Did I sleep at all?
What causes this? Why Me? I never have had trouble sleeping. I have always been one of those that get into bed, shut the light off, and take off the glasses, put head on the pillow and within 5 to 10 minutes, be sound asleep. NO! Really! I can sleep anywhere on planes, trains, and automobiles or on the beach or in a staff meeting on “Proper Communication Skills.” Yes, I have nodded off at the opera, the symphony, or even during a play. Let’s not even talk about church, no matter how long winded the speaker is.
So why? Why Now? Is it the state of my affairs? As dismal as they may be, they are no worse than normal. IS it my prospect of being able to retire in seven and a half years? What about my dilemma to move or not to move, spend money here or there? What’s the right answer?
NO, it must be caused by all my new ailments. The Migraines have started again. Thank God I usually just get the blurred vision and aura but no pain. They started a year ago when both my boys where in Iraq at the same time. Or at times my not being able to eat without throwing up, ‘still waiting for test results, but leaning toward it’s being acid reflux. Damn, another pill to take every day.
IS it the state of affairs of the country and the way we are heading? ‘The erosion of our civil liberties by the swipe of a pen and a statement from the signer of a new postal law claiming he can open our personal mail without a warrant? Does the Bush need permission from Congress to invade Iran? Will he do it with or without their permission?
Well enough of this. It is time for bed. Warm milk you say? HATE IT plus I am lactose intolerant. Well, I will go in and arrange the pillows and covers “just so”, shut the light off and try to go to sleep.
WAIT! I am waiting for phone calls that have not yet come in. My
daughter-in-law is going to call when she gets on the road. She is
leaving Camp Lejeune, Jacksonville, NC. She is going to call after my
son gets on the plane for Iraq for another year’s deployment. Courtney and my grand-daughter will be home tomorrow or the next day to be near family while Shawn is in Iraq. At least I will be able to see Aleita all the time. Let’s not forget Flash. I have promised Shawn to take his 14-month-old basset hound for long walks to tire him out and keep him more livable for Courtney. She has enough to worry about.
Or it could be the phone call from my younger son who is in California
for training. He will return to Camp Lejeune any day. He will be going
to Iraq AGAIN in mid March. I am so proud of him. He has come a long way and is now in a scout, sharp shooter platoon.
OK! SLEEP! I need sleep! Make the coffee. Arrange and fluff the pillows, smooth the blankets, adjust the heat. Take off my clothes, shut the light off, take off my glasses. Now I’ll try the relaxation techniques of flexing and relaxing, visualizing, slowing my breathing down.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH… Sleep …….’just hope I don’t have that damn dream again. You know the one? The 2 Marines in a van pulling up in front the house. Knocking on the door.
Mr. Mercer we are sorry……………..
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.