This I Believe

Audrey - New Lenox, Illinois
Entered on February 1, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

This I Believe

There is, was, and only will ever be one God. The fact that I am alive and here today is proof. My life has been saved, revived, and put back together over the past two years. All my life. I had grown up in church and become familiar with living as a Pastors Kid. God never became real to me until I had one else to turn to. When I was15 my freshmen year in high school I began drinking, smoking, and becoming involved with guys. My parents worked hard, my older sister was in college, and my younger brother and sister were two happy little innocent kids who didn’t have a care in the world. The December of my 16th birthday my life rapidly came to a halt. My dad called me into his room in the middle of the night. I came half expecting him to pull a prank or tell me the house was on fire, as he had done as a joke before. This was no joke. I came in the room to find papers, letters, and cards all over the floor. My dad was shouting words too profane for this paper. My mom arose out of bed and she sobbed. The letters and the cards- they were all from another man. My mom had been having an affair. My dad sunk to the floor. Heartbroken, confused, and angry, I held my poor broken father. He sobbed like a child who’s mother had died. His one love had been ripped away from him. My dad’s world had been crushed. My father gave her until the next morning to get out.

That day I went to school and took my final exams and didn’t fill in one test. I sat there thinking to myself it wasn’t real. I came home that day not knowing what to expect. My mother was still there. My dad was undecided. I began to take pills everyday. I would sleep sometimes for 24 ours at a time. I failed most of my classes and I began just wanting to die. As if it couldn’t get worse my dad out of rage was intoxicated beyond the point of awareness, took a gun in the middle of the night, and went to the man’s house with whom my mom had committed the act that so horribly ripped our family apart. He said he was going to kill him. My mom called the police they came and arrested him. I couldn’t imagine having the one person I had loved my whole life betray me and then when I acted out of the pain that so bitterly captured my heart, get arrested. He spent two nights in jail. He stopped working as much when he got out. We were losing everything and fast. We lost our house, cars, and most of our money. I began cutting myself and I wanted to die. My dad told me that we were moving to Chicago to get help from a pastor there. Our pastor helped us get a house, cars, food, and clothes. But, most importantly he told me about God. I got hope and I owe my life to Him. I know I have a purpose and He loves me; This I believe.