This I Believe

Charisse - Sierra Vista, Arizona
Entered on February 1, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50

Being Strong Can Make You Weak

There are times when I feel completely overwhelmed and have a high level of stress. The reasons behind this would oddly enough be because of friends and family. My family members depend on me to take care of things when they need help. My friends expect a solution when they have a problem. Being the rock is what seems to be my job. My mom has nicknamed me “the fixer “. I do believe I am a strong individual which is a great thing to be if you can endure the stress of everyone else’s problems. There does come a point in time that no matter how strong you are you end up becoming weak due to pressures of surrounding situations.

I noticed that I got this title of “the fixer” when I was around 19 years old and my younger brother got into some trouble in which I received a call to help with. You see he was caught up in gang activity which included drugs and needed a way out. I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii and he was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I gave it thought and cam up with the solution for him to move with me to get away from the damaging environment that he was in. Ever since then, everyone has looked to me to help them.

My aunt lived in Maryland with her family of 6 and had ran into financial trouble when I got the call from her. She asked if she could move to Texas where I was stationed in the army and my husband was in Iraq at the time. After thinking it over and talking with my husband, we took them in. I had a four bedroom house and my children were with their father in Pennsylvania. I by myself took in this family of six and help them to establish a new life. This of course was not an easy task to accomplish. I found my uncle a job and one for my aunt as well. I gave them money to find a place to live. I feed them ( a family of six is not cheap to feed), babysat and anything else that I could do. However in the long run it came to bite me in the butt. Not once did they offer to contribute to my household, even after all of these years, a bill that they created in the amount of 1200.00 is like pulling teeth to get them to pay. In spite of that I moved forward and still continue to help more and more people.

My mother was living with my uncle and his family in a poorly kept house and I could not stand back and listen to her become depressed so I moved her here to Arizona to have a better life. I got her a job and an apartment and she is living a wonderful life. Once again another problem was fixed.

My brother was in a bad relationship with a younger girl and could not deal with her so I made arrangements to move him and rectify the situation. That ended successfully, once again another problem solved.

It seems never ending I could go on for pages to describe all things that they have all come to me for and how their problems were relieved due to my problem solving skills. However over the years it has taken its toll on me and I find myself burned out.

I do believe that if you have the means and the opportunity to help someone you should do so but be aware that although you may have solved their problems in their eyes in actuality you have just removed them form their view and taken them on yourself. When you have strength, you also have weaknesses for which no one can turn around and help you solve.